August 3, 2020 - Where I Belong

I have always considered myself a spiritual, not religious, person. I never subscribed to the idea that I have to live a certain way because an unseen being commanded me to do so; I live the way I live because I think the decisions I make are the right decisions. They are for the benefit of the many, not so I can win an afterlife (#humblebrag not intended). I think most religions worship the same god, just under different names with a few minor differences in beliefs. And I've always been content to live my life on my own with my beliefs. 

Yesterday, though, my wife and I decided to attend an outdoor service at our local Unitarian church. From the moment we arrived, we felt a sense of community, despite the fact that there were a total of maybe fifteen people there, including the officiant and participants. We were there to celebrate the good and acknowledge the bad with others. Personally, I felt more connected when I found that members of the congregation had pets named Yoda and Anakin. The incoming sexton and I spoke briefly about the bands he's worked with in the past (I will say right now that I am more than envious). Three different people, including the pastor, came over to introduce themselves before the service began, and another congregant came over to talk with us after it was over. I know this happens in many houses of worship, but this time it felt more personal.

As for the service, the focus was not what we have to do to please a god; it was what we have to do to make the world a better place. It reminded of us of how we all connect with each other and with nature; we each received a heart of wildflower seeds (pictured above) to bring home and plant. The service had a section called "Stones of Joy & Concern", where attendees could share parts of their lives and receive support for the good and bad in their lives. There was mention of how they help those in the community who are having a difficult time. I felt more connected with the secular musical numbers ("Somewhere" from West Side Story, "Over the Rainbow", "Here Comes the Sun") than I ever did with "Ein Keloheinu" or "What a Friend We Have in Jesus". 

None of this is to dismiss or diminish anyone else's religious or spiritual beliefs (unless they promote harm to others; I can't get behind that). This is just to say that I think I might have found my place in the spiritual world. I can't commit, not yet. This was one outdoors service with a small fraction of the congregation. Once this pandemic passes, and we can get inside the church with everyone else, I might feel different. Or I might have these feelings intensified. All I can say is that for now, I think I've found where I belong.