Yesterday I stumbled upon a vlog called English with Lucy, where a British woman tries to encourage people to expand their vocabularies. I admire her intent, trying to help people - often ELL folks - learn to understand and use language effectively. Early in the vlog she encourages people to use audio books while reading the texts to link sounds and letters. When we hear and see a word simultaneously, it helps link how to pronounce a word with how to spell it. This would have been helpful when I was young and asked my parents what discernible means, except I pronounced it disk'-er-nibble; my parents had a good laugh at that.
I am all for varying language and understanding nuance, but I also believe words have meanings that should not be overlooked. When Lucy presents sixteen alternatives to you're welcome, she says it's because the phrase is overused and we should consider other ways of saying it. But the phrase itself is useful. It serves a purpose. Lucy considers how, when, and by whom the alternatives can be used (British or American, informal or formal, older people or younger people), but I have some issues with many of her choices.
Thank YOU! (British) The scope of this option is limited. Lucy's example is when someone thanks you for accepting their invitation, you thank them for inviting you. It's an odd situation and, to my mind, an unusual situation to give thanks in the first place.
The pleasure is mine! <or> My pleasure! (informal)/I'm happy to help! (formal) I do not like these options. They change the focus. Someone is giving me thanks for something, and I turn it around to make it about me. Instead of acknowledging that someone is grateful for what I did, I have to make it about how I feel. They imply that if I did not derive pleasure from it, I would not have done it.
I know you'd do the same for me! This is irrelevant. It diminishes the thanks being given and implies that I only did it because they'd have done the same for me. In fact, I feel like a better person for doing it if they wouldn't have done the same for me; "The less they deserve, the more merit is in your bounty" (never pass up a chance to quote the Bard :-)>
That's alright! Lucy says that this one is for when you're apathetic about the favor or if you didn't want to do it. It does a good job of emphasizing the importance of tone, but it sounds sarcastic; I'm making it clear that I didn't want to do you the favor, but I did it anyway.
Don't mention it! and It was nothing! These two diminish the thanks being given. They're thanking me for a reason. Rather than trivialize that reason (it's not worth mentioning) for those thanks, I should accept them. A friend of mine once said that part of being a grown-up is knowing how to accept a gift and a compliment. The thanks are the compliment. Accept them.
Anytime! This one I'm good with. I am happy to help you anytime you need it. You can always come to me with your needs. This one receives my seal of approval.
Sure! (American) This one also seems to diminish the thanks. I don't know why this is different from "Anytime!", but I feel that "Sure!" almost brushes off the thanks; it sounds like I'm saying you shouldn't even have brought it up.
Much obliged! and We appreciate your business! (formal) These options seem extra strange to me, because they're different ways to say "thank you". She uses them in examples of a business transaction. I'm in a shop. I buy something. The clerk hands me my purchase, and I say, "Thank you." They respond with an another version of "thank you". I understand that they want to thank me for my patronage, but they're better served by thanking me when handing me my merchandise, rather than have a quick sparring of who's truly grateful.
No worries! (British)/No problem! (American) Lucy acknowledges that older generations might not care for these (I think I'm offended). Most of the time I hear "No problem!", it's after having done something that I never considered to be a problem. "Would you pass the ketchup?" "No problem." Really? Passing that bottle that was slightly to your right across the table was not problematic? Such a blessed life you're living.
I believe the vast majority of thanks we receive warrant a simple "you're welcome." That's what the words are for. The Oxford English Dictionary tells us that "you're welcome" is "used as a polite response to thanks." Let the words have their meaning.
Oh, by the way, don't get me started on Lucy's use of exclamation points after almost every entry. That's a kvetch for another day.
And if you've read this far, please let me say thank you :-)>
Oh, by the way, don't get me started on Lucy's use of exclamation points after almost every entry. That's a kvetch for another day.
And if you've read this far, please let me say thank you :-)>
Mosh, alright; I will permit you to say 'Thank You," though I don't know why you have delegated such a responsibility to me.
ReplyDeleteFeel free to share the burden. After all, it takes a village.
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