April 17, 2026 - My new BFF: my insurance company

I love my insurance company. I've been with Amica on some level since I started driving, and I will shamelessly shill for them whenever I can. They are awesome! But... I could use some time away from them. 

Flashback: summer 2025. I find a local contractor to take care of some odds and ends around the house. Can you replace this glass? Can you reattach this drawer face? Can you install this new drain plug? Oh, while you're at it, a couple of bathroom floor tiles have popped loose. Can you, you know, just pop them back in?

No?

You can't?

The entire bathroom floor is rotted out? 

Super.

Flash forward to August, 2025. Yeah, Amica? We need to file a claim to fix our bathroom floor. It should take a couple weeks, and you'll relocate us? Awesome. Okay, third party agency in charge of relocating us? Here's what we need: two bedrooms, full kitchen, and pet friendly. Okay, I'll wait to hear from you. 

Reading the email with what they found. No, a suite with two beds in the same room and a kitchenette will not work. In fact, it's missing two of our three requirements. Here, I found a place. Residence Inn in Franklin. Check it out.

Okay, they're booked until August 27th. I guess we'll bump the project a week and move then. On the first day of school. For me and Horatio. Who's four years old and starting with a new-to-him teacher. You know what? It's only two weeks. We can handle this. 

Oh, hi, bathroom contractor obtained by our insurance company (who, again, is awesome!). What's that? The subfloor in the kitchen and hallway is also rotted? And, even though you've ripped the bathroom down to the studs, you can't continue until this new problem is fixed? Okay, I guess we'll stay in the hotel a little longer. 

It's not awful. They have breakfast every morning and a pool. That's... okay. Horatio loves swimming. I mean, I'd hoped to be home by my birthday in October, but, hey, we have a place to stay, right? It could be so much worse. Okay, we'll talk to contractors to fix the new problem. In the meantime, can you extend our stay here? Cool. Thanks. 

Okay, we found a contractor. He can do the work in December. I mean, we'd hoped to be home by Horatio's birthday and Thanksgiving in November, but, hey, we have a roof over our heads, right? Hey, cats, stop putting claw holes in the curtains, will you? What's that? December is too far out? Have we checked with other contractors? As a matter of fact, we have. Contractor number one is booking into February and is triple the cost. Contractor number two suggests we just tear the house down and start over. So, yeah, we're going with this guy. 

Okay, mid-December and the subfloor issue is fixed. Yay! Now we just have to put the bathroom back together and we can go home! Maybe by Christmas? Hey, bathroom guys, we're good to go. When can you get to it? Sunday email: we're kind of booked right now, so not until January. Monday email: never mind, we're not coming back. We're having some paperwork issues, and our lead contractor doesn't want to commute that far.

Okay, let's find a new contractor. And then go shopping for fixtures. While still working full-time and taking care of a five-year-old. But it could be much worse. In fact, my mother casually mentions, "You're lucky insurance is covering this." Oh, no, my dear mother, YOU are lucky insurance is covering this; otherwise, we'd be living with you. 

And on the happiest Valentine's Day possibly ever, we are home again. After our two week stay becomes almost six months, we are home again. Is the new bathroom, which looks wonderful, worth it? Honestly, I'm still not sure.

The kicker: last Sunday, less than two months after we are back in our house, as Horatio and I are driving home from the circus (we were "wowed by Ringling!"), the fates decide I've been out of touch with my insurance company for too long (by "too long" I mean "two months"), so they send some deer in front of my barely-two-years-old-to-me car. Horatio and I are fine, but the car is totaled.

Still, three deer with one midsize sedan has to be some kind of record, doesn't it? 

Have I mentioned how much I love Amica? Kind of surprised they haven't dumped me yet.

Hey, thanks for reading this far. Here's a picture of Horatio.

November 30, 2024 - Tell Me Why

In 2016, Trump lost the popular vote but won the electoral vote. In 2020, despite repeatedly perpetuating false claims otherwise, he lost both the popular and electoral votes. This year, he decisively won both. I've been waiting a few weeks to see if I could figure it out myself, but I'm still at a loss, so I'm here asking for some insights. If you did not vote for Donald Trump this year, you can sit this one out. This post is aimed at those who did in hopes they can help me understand why.

Let's overlook the fact that Trump has:

• been convicted of 34 felony counts of falsifying business records
• mocked a disabled reporter
• diminished sacrifices made by military veterans
• been found liable for sexual assault
• had multiple extramarital affairs
• admitted in the Access Hollywood tapes to being a serial sexual predator
• despite his intention to run the country like a business, had numerous business failings such as Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump University, Trump Airlines, and four business bankruptcies
• lied about where he was and what he saw on September 11th
• been indicted on numerous other charges including withholding national security files, trying to overturn the 2020 election, and inciting the Capitol riots on January 6th
• routinely lied about almost every topic imaginable; of Politifact's over 1000 ratings, only 22% were half-true or better

Let's ignore all those for the moment and focus on the issues. I would like someone to help me understand why people voted for a man who--from what I can tell--holds views in stark contrast with most Americans. 

Health Care

Since 2015, Donald Trump has been promising to repeal the Affordable Care Act/Obamacare and replace it with something better. In the almost decade since, he has never given any hint of what that something better will be. As a candidate, as a president, and as a candidate again, he has not once put forward anything resembling a plan to replace and improve on the ACA. 

Trump initially campaigned on the promise of overturning Roe vs. Wade, a promise he was able to keep. Once the decision was overturned, even Republican-leaning states such as Kansas and Kentucky had voters decide to protect abortion rights. Once this began happening, Trump tried to change his position, saying the issue belongs to the states, and that's all he intended. Even if this is true (my research says it's not), health care is not a topic that should vary from state to state. Other issues, such as minimum wage (New York has a higher cost of living than North Carolina, so, yes, NY's minimum wage should be higher), can vary from state to state, but need for medical treatment is not something that changes based on state lines. Just because a person crosses from Wyoming to Colorado doesn't mean a person's medical issues stop at the state line. 

Foreign Affairs
Trump's repeated attempts at isolationism has left much of the world shaking its head. Trump removed the US from the Paris Climate Accords and the Iran nuclear deal, leaving many US allies concerned and abandoned. Trump has also criticized nations for not paying enough to NATO, saying they have to pay their fair share, but should that diminish the US's role or push the US to leave entirely? 

He has also said that he will end the Russia war in Ukraine, but given that he said Putin can "do whatever the hell he wants," will that mean Trump will encourage Ukraine to accept Russian annexation of parts of their country? Trump also has a history of being friendly with national leaders at odds with the US (Putin and Kim, most notoriously) while alienating longtime allies. The US has had a longstanding role of helping throughout the world, but Trump's isolationist policies put that at risk and in doing so, gives nations such as China an opening to gain what Trump willingly gives up on the global stage. 

Economics

From what I can tell, this is the issue that drove many away from the Democrats this year. That said, I don't understand how Trump plans to make it better. I know that inflation, unemployment, and stock market numbers don't show the entire picture, but the numbers seem comparable under both Trump and Biden. Many of Trump's policies seem geared toward the wealthy, though, and don't impact the lower and middle classes. For example, his 2017 tax cuts benefitted major corporations and wealthy individuals much more than lower income earners. His plan to exempt overtime, tips, and social security benefits from taxes would drive up the deficit, speed up social security's path to insolvency, and--again--benefit the wealthy.

Then there's tariffs. Trump has promised to increase tariffs on seemingly every country, but pretty much every economic report I've heard finds that tariffs only serve to impact American consumers with higher prices. In addition, the countries we trade with apply their own tariffs and once again, consumers pay the price. On top of that, the relationships with those nations suffer accordingly. 

Immigration

The influx of undocumented immigrants is an issue, but Trump, since declaring his candidacy in 2015, has repeatedly described them as rapists, drug dealers, and terrorists. Trump claims that drugs such as Fentanyl are flowing in through all border crossings, but the reality is it's still primarily being smuggled in through legal checkpoints. His travel ban is also blatantly anti-Muslim. Trump is conflating the issues. Muslim does not mean terrorist; Latino does not mean drug dealer. Trump is again playing to the fears of his base. 

I'm sure more issues exist, but I don't see how they're any different from ones I addressed here. From my point of view, Trump is unqualified for this office solely for his positions. I mean, feel free to factor in those issues I told you to set aside at the start, and we can address the morality of the president, too, but right now I'm more focused on qualifications. 

So please, if you voted for Trump, either actively for him or as a vote against Harris, leave a comment explaining why. Help me understand your thought process, because I've been wracking my brain and I cannot come up with anything that would explain why people would vote for him. And, of course, keep it polite. Hate has no place on this blog. 

12 October 2024 - Deconstructing Trumpspeak

As we head into the election next month, I thought I would try my turn at explaining what I think Trump means via his various campaign slogans. Here we go as I address the signs and flags I see on an almost daily basis. 

No More Bullshit!: I covered this one a while back; check it out here.

Make America Great Again: This has been addressed by many who are smarter and funnier than I, but I'll reiterate what's obvious to me. This implies America has been great before. When I say that, I mean great for everyone. This is not true. The only ones for whom America has consistently been great are straight, white, rich, Christian men. This goes back to the founding of the nation, evidenced by who got to vote. Not much has changed on the macro level for those who don't fall into that narrow demographic. 

Keep America Great: This one puzzles me. I'm guessing it's someone who is reusing a sign from four years ago, but either way, the implication of using that sign in 2024 is that America is great now. Even if you don't agree with my view of America's greatness, this sign--saying America is great now--implies that the Biden administration is responsible for America's current greatness, a sentiment Trump would never acknowledge. 

God, America, Freedom: This has to be the vaguest sign I've ever seen. What about them? God: Okay, which one? Jesus? Yahweh? Allah? Jehovah? Zeus? Clapton? Just kidding. I know they mean Jesus. That's part of the problem. The US is not a Christian nation, no matter how much they try--overtly or subtly--to imply otherwise. America: yeah, what about it? This says absolutely nothing. Anyone running for president, in theory, wants what's best for America. Saying the name doesn't tell us anything. Freedom: for whom? from what? This is another pointless buzzword. 

and my favorite, Take America Back: I can take this is two ways. Back as in backward. Back to a time when women and people of color and really anyone not on that previously mentioned list had anything resembling true equality in this country. Not a good look for us these days. Or Back as in rescind. If you take something back, it means someone else no longer has it. Whom does he want to not have America and all that it should--in the best ways possible--represent? A president should be a leader for all, but Trump wants to be a leader for those who will further his personal agenda and for those who will kiss the ring. A true president wants everyone to have a stake in this nation. A true president doesn't want to exclude anyone. A true president is a president for all. Intentionally. Willingly. Eagerly. I honestly don't think Trump knows how to do that. He is an inherently selfish individual who never learned to share, and nothing illustrates that better than this unintentionally revealing slogan. 

I'm not going to tell you to vote for Kamala Harris, but I will suggest you don't vote for Trump. It won't end well if he wins.

As always, if you disagree, please don't block me, flame me, or ignore me. Engage with me. 

February 25, 2024 - Renouncing My Obsession

I was six years old when my parents took me to see Star Wars in 1977. From what I've been told, my mother was a bit worried that Vader was going to scare me. All I know is when he stepped onto that blockade runner, my life changed forever. 

For over forty-five years, Star Wars has been an essential part of my identity, my existence. I've forged friendships over it; when one of the campus dorms was showing the (then only) trilogy, the first movie ended, and the woman next to me stood up to leave. I said to her, "Where are you going? There are two movies left. Sit down." She did. And we've been close friends ever since. Just as I've been close friends with the guy who was sitting in the row in front of me, the only other person cheering for the Empire.

When Episode I came out, I was fortunate enough to get a pass to an advance screening, albeit one about 400 miles away. When my mother mentioned this to her mother, it was with a comment somewhat along the lines of, "Do you believe this kid? Spending hundreds of dollars to see a movie he'll see in a week anyway?" My grandmother, bless her, asked, "Did it make him happy?" It did. And then some. When Episode III was coming out, I was talking to a coworker who had never seen any of the movies about how I was seeing it half a dozen times that weekend. When she asked me what I would do if I didn't like it, I told her I didn't understand the question. Of course I was going to like it. It's Star Wars!

Our Star Wars marathons--once viewings by three people over the course of one afternoon--have evolved over eighteen years into weekend-long events with dozens of people, occasion-specific treats, and Star Wars-centered games and activities. And let's not forget the Star Wars room, the precursor to what my wife has thrice agreed will be our Star Wars house, the room that was intended to keep people from staying over but instead made people want to stay over. 

But it all began with Vader. When the prequel trilogy arrived, I was ecstatic. Yes, I knew it contained myriad problems, but my obsession allowed me to overlook them. Then the sequel trilogy arrived. A throwback to the early days, but without the same oomph factor. Again, my obsession allowed me to overlook that. Then the television shows. And the stand-alone films. And more and more and more. 

And through it all, Vader's role changed. While he was once the face of the franchise, he has now been relegated to just another character. While the first six films all had him as the centerpiece, now he's just one character in a single part in the grander galaxy of stories. I think I saw it all happening, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. Even when I saw the videos of Vader at Disney World busting moves to "U Can't Touch This" (yes, I included the link, so I'm not the only one seeing it), I willed myself to look past it. 

But with that change, my obsession began to dwindle. Just over three years ago, we dismantled the Star Wars room. My wife did offer me the chance to convert our office to Horatio's room, but I dreaded the day when he looked around and asked why Vader has a bigger room than he does. So now, with a few choice exceptions, all the memorabilia is boxed up in the basement. I'm unsure when (or if) it will be unboxed.

My urge to go to Galaxy's Edge at Disney World has been tempered, with Kylo Ren now the focus of the attraction. True, I won't have to watch Vader dance, but I won't have the Star Wars experience I would want. 

I was finally forced to acknowledge the truth last year when my friend's daughter turned seven. For her birthday, she wanted an Ahsoka light saber to go with her Halloween costume. That's when I realized it was time for me to step aside. She is the same age I was when I dressed as Vader for Halloween; now she gets to step into Ahsoka's shoes. I am no longer the intended audience. And that's okay. I can take a step back, live in my Vader-centered world of the original trilogy (complete with my own personal ending, pressing stop after Palpatine says, "Now, young Skywalker, you will die."), and I will be content. 

I have no idea if Horatio will have any interest in this galaxy far, far away, let alone an obsession with it. He'll be exposed to it, but he'll have his own thing, I'm sure. And when he wants to wallpaper his room with whatever it is, I'll be the first to help, recognizing that part of myself in him.

 

May 6, 2022 - Why You Should Have Taken Those "Weird Al" Tickets I Offered

When "Weird Al" Yankovic announced "the unfortunate return of the Ill-Advised Vanity Tour" would be coming to the Chevalier Theater in Medford for two nights, I immediately asked Jessy if it was okay if we went to both shows (as we did on the first tour of this kind). Because she loves me, she said yes. In my haste to get tickets to Friday and Saturday's shows, I accidentally bought two pairs of tickets for Friday's show. I cursed under my breath, bought a pair for Saturday, and figured I'd have time to find someone to take the extra pair. I mean, almost everyone I know is somehow connected to me through music. So many of my friends and family share a love of this vital aspect of existence. I texted friends who'd gone with me to see Al before. I popped back up on Facebook a couple times to offer them to anyone who was interested. I posted on the NextDoor app to see if anyone in the area was interested. No takers. Not one. 

I understand that, even though he's currently in his fifth decade of being the jester in music's royal court, people still see him as a novelty act. They hear his name and think, "Oh, yeah, the guy who did 'Amish Paradise' or 'Eat It' or 'Smells Like Nirvana'." They think of a guy who essentially karaokes new words over someone else's music and makes something somewhat amusing. It's cute. But it's not a talent. Here's where they're wrong. Well, not wrong, but unaware of the whole truth. "Weird Al" has released fourteen studio albums, each with five parodies and a polka medley on twelve of them. The rest of each album contains original music, often in the style of a particular artist: "Mr. Popeil" in the style of the B-52s, "Trigger Happy" in the style of the Beach Boys, "My Own Eyes" in the style of the Foo Fighters, and dozens more. 

The breadth of these songs, the focus of Al's current tour (fully described as the "Small Venues, Back To Basics, Stripped Down, Nothing Fancy, Theatrics-Free, No Videos, No Costumes, No Props, No Frills Whatsoever, Non-Extravaganza, Sort Of Kind Of Unplugged-ish, Cut-Rate Production, Taking It Down A Notch, Super Casual, Low Energy, Old Guys Sitting On Stools, Just Hanging Out On Stage, Pulling Out None Of The Stops, Trying Not To Work Up A Sweat, Fun For Us Maybe Not So Much For You, None Of The Songs You Really Want To Hear, All Of The Songs You Usually Skip Over, Obscure Original Tunes, Deep Cuts And B Sides, No Hits, All Filler, Lowered Expectations, Let’s Just See What Happens, This Might Really Suck, Crowd-Disappointing, Audience-Baffling, Limited Commercial Appeal, Ridiculously Self-Indulgent, Ill-Advised Vanity Tour"), requires a band with tremendous talent and range. And I'm the first to admit that if this were an ironically normal Al tour, we wouldn't have to go to both shows; on a normal tour, everything is planned to the minute: the same two dozen songs, the same costumes, the same jokes; it's the same show every night. But this tour is the opposite. In its 2018 incarnation, Al and his band played seventy-seven shows and had a setlist that rotated through fifty-one songs, many of which they hadn't played live in years, if ever. Compare that to Taylor Swift or Luke Bryan or Drake who do the same set every night. Even on Luke Bryan's last tour, he ended with the same cover. Al and his band, by comparison, offered a different cover every show. That's seventy-seven songs they had to know in addition to the fifty-one songs from their own catalog. And they had to be ready to change it up at a moment's notice; it's not like they said, "Okay, I only have to know these twenty-something songs for tonight." There were times Al called an audible and changed the set list mid-show. The range of covers included popular hits like Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" and Chuck Berry's "Johnny B. Goode and know-your-audience selections such as Devo's "Uncontrollable Urge", They Might Be Giants' "Particle Man", and Tom Lehrer's "The Elements Song". 

All of this is to support one idea. His band is insanely talented! And this is what y'all missed by not taking advantage of my moment of inattentiveness. A band that has the same members since Al's debut in 1983, not counting his keyboard player, Rubén Valtierra, who has been with the band only since 1992 (thirty years in and he is still considered "the new guy"). A band that shifts from pop-metal to country to rap to swing to zydeco to you-name-it seamlessly, because they can play it all and they can play it all well. They have to, because if you're going to play a parody of Huey Lewis or Madonna or Dire Straits or Chamillionaire or Lady Gaga or Imagine Dragons, you have to sound like them. Every one of them. Every time. And they do. Because they're that damn good. Seriously, you should have gone. Not to rub salt in the wound, but, yeah, you missed something truly amazing.

Want a quick, twenty-five minute overview of all the cover songs they did? Go here. Have four hours on your hands and want to hear them all in their entirety? Check this out.

And as a thank-you for reading this far, here's a picture of Horatio in a recycling bin:

February 13, 2022 - Shilling Freely

I'll be honest. I have no problem shilling for a company that deserves it. I've shilled for Shutterfly. I'll shill for Firefly's barbecue until I die or they go out of business, whichever comes first. I figure I should promote companies that do well by me in addition to calling out those who have not lived up to my own customer service expectations (e.g., Ticketmaster and American Airlines). 

I'm here today to praise the app GetUpside. It's pretty simple. Download the app, buy gas or food at participating locations, and get money off per gallon or a percentage back on food purchases. I've been using the app for about two months. The savings haven't been earth-shattering, but between getting gas every week or two (I found one gas station that's pretty much on my way home from work and on the way home from Horatio's swimming lessons) and a bakery/sandwich shop we go to every week or two, I've earned about twenty dollars back. I can get cash back or put it toward any number of gift cards (I'm using that phrase "any number of" to indicate a good variety of something, not to indicate that I get to choose the number; it's more descriptive usage than prescriptive, a change for me that folks probably shouldn't get used to). 

I'll be honest. I have no idea how long this will last. For all I know, the list of
participating locations will change tomorrow or the percentages will drop precipitously. I know the sandwich shop we go to only allows a certain number of people to use the app per month. But for now, it seems to be working well enough to keep going. If you think you might benefit, give it a shot. Especially if you like Burger King; they seem to be giving back over 30% per purchase - too bad I gave up fast food. And if you use this link - https://upside.app.link/44R4M - we can both save even more. No, don't thank me. It's my civic duty to help.

And here's a picture of Horatio showing his love of letters:

February 5, 2022 - "Between the World and Me" review

Normally I let my Goodreads reviews sit in the sidebar, but this book is too important to sit on the sidelines.

This gets five stars not because I enjoyed it, but because of its importance. Coates holds nothing back, nor should he, in his declaration of oppression by, not white people, but by those who call themselves white. He alternates between his descriptions of everything that has come "between the world and [him]" - personally, societally, historically - and how finding his place at Howard University, the Mecca, gave him an understanding of his own race. This forces me to wonder whether that isolated experience, that time when he, because of his race, was not subjugated, not beaten, not oppressed, not killed is the first step. It forces me to ask how we, as a society, can expand that feeling of safety and belonging. Do we simply add in other non-white races and ethnicities until whites are the only ones not counted? Do we undo who is considered white? Where do people from the Mediterranean fit in? Are they white? But I digress...

I want to write so much more about this book. I highlighted lines and passages that speak to me for various reasons (much to the horror of my students - "You annotate willingly‽"), but I cannot find the words to explain why. So here, in some kind of chronological order, are some of my thoughts throughout this book:

*"America believes itself exceptional [but]... one cannot, at once, claim to be superhuman and then plead mortal error" (8): How can we claim to be the greatest nation in the world, a beacon of freedom to all, and continue to deny what we've done to black people for over four hundred years and show few signs of improvement?

*Coates's grew up in schools celebrating Black History Month where he watched films "dedicated to the glories of being beaten on camera" (32), forcing him to wonder what non-violence achieved.

*"[The] power of domination and exclusion is central to the belief in being white, and without it, 'white people' would cease to exist for want of reasons" (42): This goes back to my earlier comments. Are Italians or Greeks white only because it gives them a position of power? Are they white only so they can have non-whites beneath them?

*"[Perhaps] being named 'black' was just someone's name for being at the bottom" (55): the corollary to the example above.

**"[The] bodies of women are set out for pillage in ways I could never truly know" (65): This is exactly how I feel being a white person trying to understand what it's like to be black. It's something that, despite all the reading I'm doing, I can obviously never understand.

*"Prince was not killed by a single officer so much as he was murdered by his country" (78): This is a perfect description of the institutionalized racism inherent in our country. At the same time, he was killed by a black officer, and I have to wonder how that officer reconciles these two (in this case) disparate elements of his identity.

*"[Whenever] I saw the police it meant something had already gone wrong" (85): I have to ask if police have dual objectives - prevention for whites (I have never seen police simply in the neighborhood in any area I've lived) and punishment for blacks.

*[On] West Broadway... white people spilled out of wine bars with sloshing glasses and without police" (89): This speaks to the previous line; I can't imagine police being as tolerant of black people drinking in public.

*"[Without] the right to break you they must necessarily fall from the mountain, lose their divinity" (105): This hearkens back to Isabel Wilkerson's Caste, the idea that blacks must be subjugated for the simple reason that whites need someone to be superior to.

*"The plunder of black life was drilled into this country in its infancy and reinforced across its history" (111): This is probably the essential theme of the book. Blacks were used from the start to improve the standing of those who call themselves white, a situation that has not improved. Look at the NFL for example - over 70% of the players are black, sacrificing their bodies and well-being to entertain the masses, while only 1 of 32 head coaches is black. And look at the situation with Brian Flores, who was denied the Giants' head coach job before he was ever interviewed .

*When speaking with Prince Jones's mother, Coates asked her if Prince's white friends' parents treated her with respect, and she said, "By then I was the chief of radiology at the local hospital... [and] so they treated me with respect," but "[she] said this with no love in her eye, coldly" (141): If I had to guess, I'd say they respected the position, not the woman.

But the two moments that stand out the most to me are:

*"[Southern] Manhattan had always been Ground Zero for us.... Bin Laden was not the first man to bring terror to that section of the city" (86, 87): This does much to reinforce the brutality of black life in the US. Yes, what happened on September 11th was horrific, an attack on this country not seen in generations, but where is the outrage over the other attacks that have happened on American soil? It's absent, because those killed were not viewed as worth remembering or even seen as human.

And on a strictly personal level, these two:

*"Black people love their children with a kind of obsession. You are all we have and you come to us endangered" (82):

*"...my beautiful brown boy, who would soon come into the knowledge, who would soon comprehend the edicts of his galaxy, and all the extinction-level events that regarded you with a singular and discriminating interest" (90): These forced me to think of my son's future. My son who is half black living in a 96.6% white town. What's going to happen on that day he comes home from school and unlocks the front door, and someone drives by and calls the police? This is no longer a hypothetical situation; it's a probability as far as I'm concerned, and I'm scared to death that I will be unable to prepare him for what lies ahead.

January 31, 2022 - Random Thoughts

 

It took me way too long to figure out that 

the tissues in the top-opening dispensers fold in half easily, while the tissues in the top/side-opening dispensers fold more into a half and (almost) two quarters that don't quite fold equally into a clean half, which I find annoying.

And why is it that hotels keep the box of tissues in the bathroom, right by the toilet paper that can serve the same purpose, yet have no tissues where the beds are and where guests spend the vast majority of their time and where they likely need the tissues more often (unless they are having some form of GI trouble, in which case leave the tissues where they are)?

"Tell me you're a geek without telling me you're a geek."

Boba Fett is speaking Basic, not English.

The word crampon is way too close to the word tampon. And to have the word cramp in the former when it's more often associated with the latter is just confusing. But, as it turns out, crampon is derived from Middle English; tampon is from the 19th century, so whoever came up with that word should have put some more effort into it.

And while we're on the topic of etymology, I envision this conversation happened at one point: 

Person #1 (in the 18th century and likely in French): I have devised a study of insects. I shall call it entomology.

Person #2: Well, back in the Middle Ages, someone called the study of words etymology. Don't you think people might be confused? 
Person #1: Nonsense. I added an n and changed the y to an o. It couldn't be any clearer.

And thanks again for reading this far. Here's Horatio doing his best Far Side impersonation (thanks/apologies to Gary Larson):

January 29, 2022 - Jesus Christ Superstar review

Last night we went to see Jesus Christ Superstar at the Providence Performing Arts Center. I will preface this by pointing out two salient issues:

1) I hadn't listened to the soundtrack before seeing the show.
2) I'm Jewish. 

I'm fairly certain these two elements severely impacted my understanding and appreciation of this show. 

That said, regardless of these two facts, this was a weird show.

Opening up with a woman dancing crazily on a giant cross laid down across the stage (see Last Supper picture). Then the rest of the cast comes running down the aisles to join her. This prompts my first question of the evening: why are they running down the aisles? Why not come in from the wings? What purpose does this directorial decision have? And then the dancing that follows. I'll admit it was impressive and the cast was tight. But what the hell were they doing? Is there some form of Christian prayer where people hold a palm to their forehead and hold the other arm outstretched? Because that's what they did. A lot. 

And why does Jesus (Aaron LaVigne) have an acoustic guitar that he barely plays? Did Jesus play the guitar? Seriously, I'm curious. Wait, a quick Google search tells me it was invented around the 16th century, so that's a nope. So why have Jesus look like he's at an open mike night for much of the show?

"King Herod's Song" featuring Paul Louis Lessard was a showstopper, with all the glitz and pomp to captivate a crowd (all that was missing was a tap number). And Alvin Crawford as Caiaphas was amazing - incredible pipes on this guy! But I still don't understand what was going on. 

Sure, I got the basics - Jesus is a rebel, his followers love him, he's reluctant to be the son of God, the high priests come for him, Mary loves him (although she says she doesn't know how, but I think she manages nonetheless), Judas betrays him, Peter denies him, Pilate wants no part of him, Herod taunts him, and they crucify him (they left the resurrection out, but I went on a Friday. If I go again on Sunday, will it be there?).  But it just seemed... weird. The presentation and the music was so jarring. If it's intentional, like the dancers' entrance, I don't get why. And the title track - how can Judas sing about 4 B.C. when it's still B.C.? And "if [he'd] come today he could have reached a whole nation", but what "today" is he talking about? In Judas's time, it was "today". 

And at the end, after we've just seen this man physically beaten, abandoned, and killed on the cross, he comes out, takes Judas's hand and bows (wait, was that the resurrection?). It reminded us of a performance of Merchant of Venice where Shylock dies a broken man and then the actor comes out with the rest of the cast to do a happy dance number. Just weird. 

One last observation I had while the curtain with the giant logo was down before the show. Why does the logo look like a double angel door knocker with a poop emoji stuck to it? Now you can't unsee it, can you?

2/5: would probably not see again

And again, as a thank you for reading this far, here's a picture of Horatio:

January 20, 2022 - Get out of My Dreams, Doug Judy

The other morning I overslept and was freaking out until I realized Doug Judy (Craig Robinson's character on Brooklyn 99) had messed with my alarm. When I went to his room, which until now had been Horatio's room, I saw that he changed his clock, too, so I had no idea what time it was at all. Not cool, Doug Judy. Not cool.

As the day went on, when Jessy and I were in the kitchen, I looked down to see a promotional stand for Loverboy's new jukebox musical. Jessy told me to put it in the basement room where we keep the Grogu pinball game. It's also where we keep the U.S. women's Olympic hockey team's jerseys. Except when I opened the drawer, only two jerseys remained because Doug Judy gave them away. Dammit, Doug Judy, knock it off!

Anyway, here's a picture of Horatio pounding some water.

January 8, 2022 - Reclamation of the Flag

Every time I see a truck or a Jeep waving an American flag behind it, I instinctively know the driver is a far-right conservative. This is true even without the accompaniment of a Trump flag, a Blue Lives Matter flag, or - ironically enough - a Confederate flag. They seem to be screaming to the world, "Look at me! I support the values of America!"

But they don't. In fact, it's the opposite. At least it's the opposite of what the values of America are supposed to be. We are the land of the free and the home of the brave. We are one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. We believe in promoting the general welfare. Anyone who's ever attended a public school or been to any sporting event has heard these phrases repeatedly. Yet those who wave this flag the highest are the ones who are attempting to deny those promised ideals to those this nation has routinely and historically oppressed. 

If we had liberty and justice for all, we would not have a system designed to keep certain segments of the population from receiving those promised ideals. Look at education. Every state in the nation, to some degree, links education funding with property taxes. This means that the lower the income of a city or town, the less educational funding they receive, and it's no coincidence that those areas are often non-white populations. Look at Arkansas as an example of how these conditions impact education. Without necessary education, progress in any field is impossible, ensuring that those with means are primarily the ones who will advance, while those without means, often people of color, are trapped in a never-ending cycle of poverty.

If we were the land of the free, people would not be denied basic rights based on gender identity. They would not be prohibited from serving their country in the military based on how they identify. If we were the home of the brave, people would have the courage to stand up for what's right, to stand up for those being oppressed, yet those waving the flag like this are the ones voting for people, at all levels, who refuse to let everyone in this nation enjoy the same rights. Look at the voting restrictions red states are implementing, those that would deny people, usually of color, the ability to vote by mail or on Sundays or after nine-to-five working hours. 

If we were one nation, everyone would have equal access to health care, yet conservatives, primarily white men, are doing everything they can to deny women their own reproductive rights based on beliefs derived from a religious text instead of medical science. The hypocrisy is palpable as red state after red state passes cardiac activity based legislation to deny women safe access to abortion, yet in every single state it is legal to take someone deemed brain dead off life support even though their heart is still beating. 

If we believed in promoting the general welfare, every single eligible person in this country would be vaccinated and boostered against COVID, the same way we're vaccinated against the mumps, the measles, rubella, Hepatitis, Tetanus, and Polio. Vaccines were once lauded as miracles, and scientists were praised for their contributions. Instead, the far right are launching successful efforts to take over local school boards for the right to be ignorant (at best) and a health risk to others (at worst) based on meritless conspiracy theories instead of believing in and trusting medical science. 

It is because of the values of those broadcasting their self-described patriotism that I proclaim those supporting these mentalities as unfit to wave this flag. Instead, I propose that those in favor of supporting every American, regardless of race, gender, religion, sexual identity; those who believe that all people are indeed created equal; those who are more concerned with helping the majority instead of hampering them be the ones to wave the flag. Wave it alongside the Pride flag. Wave it alongside the Black Lives Matter flag. Wave it alongside whatever way you can proclaim your faith in science. 

Let those who would deny others the ideals promised by this nation yell about taking our country back; let the rest of us take our country forward. 

And if for some reason you disagree with any of these thoughts and observations, please don't ignore me. Don't block me. Don't flame me. Talk to me. 

If you've read this far, here's a picture of Horatio playing in the snow:

December 29, 2021 - Going off Social Media

As of January 1st, 2022, I am going to try to give up Facebook and Twitter. I wrestled with staying on social media before and decided to stay for a number of reasons: staying in touch with family, friends, and former students; seeing what is happening in my town; keeping up with my favorite bands; trying to promote my photography... As I've stayed, I've found that little of that is actually happening. 


I find that the more I'm on social media, the more time I'm wasting and not finding those benefits as much anymore. My friends are posting more memes and jokes they've seen elsewhere and less about themselves. My hometown page is more about petty squabbles, irrelevant (to me) business promotions, and random pipe dreams of the town's future. While I did find out about Joe Jackson's and "Weird Al"'s latest tours, the information is as easily accessible on their sites. Promoting my photography is something I don't have as much time for these days. And that doesn't count all the sponsored content that I have zero interest in and can't avoid. 

I know all this, yet I still find myself logging in repeatedly throughout the day. I've been watching Dopesick here and there and find myself identifying too much with Michael Keaton's character. We both know there's a problem, we both know we're addicted regardless, and we still find ourselves giving in to it and hating that we're doing it. Every single time I find myself with a spare second, I log in to see little worth seeing. And if I'm being honest with myself, I find myself going down stupid, meaningless rabbit holes of strangers' comments on ridiculous topics. I need to get out.

I would have left sooner - and this is going to sound like a (what do the kids call it these days?) flex - but many friends have told me how much it means to see pictures of Horatio. More than one has told me that seeing his face has helped them through the pandemic. I know I can't be objective, but I choose to believe them, so I waited until he turned one. Now folks are going to have to come here to get periodic updates and fixes. Keep an eye open to see how I manage to do that, because I haven't figured that part out yet. 

I'm hoping to take the time I would spend there and use it to read more, to write more, maybe to adult more, to be me more. All those times I think, "Let's take a quick peek" that turn into a five, ten, twenty minute time suck can be put to better use.

That said, I am not deactivating the account; I'm simply removing the app from my phone and blocking the site on the laptop. I'm doing this so I can keep the messenger app working. My hope is that any time folks are tempted to tag me in something, they'll take an extra second and message me instead, whether it's a Star Wars meme, a Shakespeare joke, or a funny cat video. Or, Gods forbid, we have an actual conversation. And I will try to do the same. If this means we don't hear from each other for a while, I wish you all the best. If you stop by here from time to time, I'll try to make it worth your while with my not-even-close-to-trademarked witticisms, observations, and photos. 

In the meantime, here's a picture of Horatio with a spoon in his mouth :-)>

November 14, 2021 - Takeaways and Observations from Last Night's Cheap Trick Concert

Last night we went to see Cheap Trick at the Providence Performing Arts Center (PPAC). I'd never seen them before, could only name three songs by them, but they've always had a reputation as a fun show, and we'll take almost any excuse to get out of the house these days. 

Throughout the show, I had a number of realizations, both specific to the band and about concerts in general. Here, in no particular order, are some takeaways:

If you want to see a great show, get seats near the stage. If you want to hear a great show, get seats near the soundboard. Our seats were dead center, row S - pretty good seats as far as seeing the stage. From the first notes, the sound was awful. The guy next to us asked what song they opened with, and we had no idea. Even though I'd never heard the song before, I should have been able to figure out something close to a title to help him out. After about five or six songs, we moved toward the back and everything sounded infinitely better. My non-technical, non-professional opinion thinks it's because the seats toward the front were in a more open space, floor to ceiling in the venue, while the soundboard was under the balcony with less room for the music to dissipate (if that's what I can say the music did). 

I was surprised by how punk this band is. The few songs I could name ("Surrender", "Dream Police", and "I Want You To Want Me") fall under the pop/rock genre, but much of what they played last night had a distinctly more punk feel to it. Except for "The Flame". This song has such an '80s vibe to it that I can't believe it's not from a John Hughes soundtrack.

It was odd that Robin Zander spent the show in an outfit that included a trench coat and a leather captain's hat, yet said literally nothing to the audience until the last song of the set; Rick Nielsen was the mouthpiece for the band for the entire show. It seems to me that if Zander's going to cultivate an image like this (to the point that a woman in the front row wore a similar hat), he would have more of a role as a front man.

If someone is going to have a five neck guitar, it's more impressive if they play more than only the top two.

When a band whose heyday was in the late '70s/'80s says that their 2021 album was number one for a "weak week", take it with a grain of salt; While Rick Nielsen claimed their 2021 In Another World was #1 on the charts, it seems that the album peaked at 142 on the Billboard top 200 chart, and the highest it charted anywhere was #2 on Billboard's Top Tastemaker Albums (I never knew that was a thing). 

See live music. See it wherever you can. See it whenever you can. See whomever you can. I get that COVID is still keeping a lot of folks home, but it was sad to see the place maybe two-thirds full. 

September 28, 2021 - Who Decided on Letter Names?

 

Who invented the names of the letters in the American English alphabet? Why do A, J, and K end with an -ā sound while B, C, D, E, G, P, T, V and Z end with an -ē sound? Why do F, L, M, N, S, and X end with their respective sounds while the previous letters begin with them? Why do H, Q, and W not contain the sound they make? Come to think of it, what sound does Q make on its own? If it's only the same as K, why do we need qu- when we could just use kw-? Why does the letter C exist, when we already have K and S? Why does the soft G exist when we already have J? Why is W called double-u, but M is not called double-n?

You might think I'd have better ways to spend my time, what with school back in session and a baby at home, but here we are...

April 4, 2021 - Why I'm Staying on Facebook

About a week ago, a friend posted a link to this article about how Facebook has been not only allowing groups and pages that support white supremacy, but auto-generating them on their own. In addition, they've been linking supporters of one page to similar pages through their "you might be interested in..." feature. People talk about how the January 6th insurrection was an organized event rather than a spur of the moment happening; this is one of the reasons that was possible. 

Upon reading this, I underwent a crisis of conscience. I understand that many people, including some of my Facebook friends, have opinions that differ from mine. I accept that. I have, numerous times, attempted to engage them - and total strangers - in civilized discussion (see my July 27, 2020 entry). My issue was that this time it's Facebook encouraging these hateful views. I had friends support my incredulity at what was happening, but say that they simply scroll past the objectionable content. That's the problem, though; we don't see the objectionable content. It's those we have to worry about who see it, who see that their hateful views are shared by others, and who find ways to expand their circles of hate and ignorance. I had to ask myself if this was a deal breaker. At the time, I thought it likely was.

And that was too bad. Facebook offers many benefits: staying in touch with family, friends, and former students; a place to see what is happening in my town; keeping up with my favorite bands; a place to promote my photography (this includes Instagram, which is owned by Facebook). I was ready to pull the trigger and move everything over to Twitter, knowing full well that it would limit what I was able to do and limit who would be able to see it; I think most Facebook folks would not follow me there. 

The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that would be a mistake. The best analogy I can think of is the Thanksgiving dinner with the relative who makes casually racist comments. When that happens, I have three options. Option one is I can ignore it and try to enjoy the rest of the meal with my family. I could continue with Facebook as I have for the past almost fifteen years. The expression says that ignorance is bliss, and that would be 100% true. But I would know in my heart that the problem exists.

Option two is getting up and leaving the table. I could simply walk away. This is where I was heading. I want nothing to do with this entire situation; sorry, folks, but I'm outta here. In the short run, while I would be disappointed to not have the turkey, mashed potatoes, and three different kinds of pie, I simply can't be part of this situation. I can find a restaurant that might be open and have something there. Sure, the food isn't as good, and despite my best offer, no one else at the table is going to come with me, but I can hold my head up and proudly claim that I want no part of this. But, I thought, where does that really get me? Who benefits from that? The problem still exists, and I'm the one suffering.

That leaves me with option three: I stay, but I speak up. I look Uncle Zuck right in the eye and I tell him that what he said is inappropriate and absolutely unacceptable. I've read that it's not enough to be not racist; we have to be anti-racist. We have to call it out when we see it, not simply say, "Well, that's not my belief." Full disclosure: I don't yet know what to do, but I have reached out to the Tech Transparency Project, the Southern Poverty Law Center, and the Anti-Defamation League for suggestions on how this small town English teacher with a few hundred "friends" on the platform can challenge a multi-billion dollar international monolith. I will bring the fight to them. I hope others will join me. 

January 24, 2021 - Reclaiming My Time

A while back I noticed that I was getting some strange ads in my Facebook feed. Ads for demographics to which I do not remotely belong: guns, beer, daughters, God/Jesus, horses.... I also see innumerable ads that are blatant copyright and trademark infringements: Star Wars tee shirts, Van Halen sneakers, any variety of posters and apparel with photoshopped images of Paul McCartney, Robert Downey, Jr., Mark Hamill and more appearing to hold the merchandise. For a while it was fun posting comments about how poorly they were photoshopped before reporting the ad as a scam. For the past few days, I've been sharing some of them under #FacebookDoesNotKnowMeAtAll, an attempt at humor to decry their algorithms. 

Then some more tech savvy than I clued me into the fact that what I post is not the primary factor in the ads I see. If it were, I'd be seeing many more ads for baby products. A friend suggested I watch the Netflix documentary The Social Dilemma, which sheds light on how social media companies market us to their advertisers, and how simply hovering over an ad results in more ads similar to it showing up. It was contrary to everything I'd been trying to do; time spent reporting the ads only served to generate more of them. 

The documentary also explains how advertisers seek to alter my own personal habits by providing my data to those who would exploit it. I'll be honest, I don't completely understand how it works, but it still frightens me. What frightens me most is that I don't know if my behavior has been altered. I don't think so, but I can't say for sure. I'm somewhat heartened by the fact that I only see Facebook ads on my phone; the Facebook Purity extension blocks most of them on my laptop. But the lengths they go to in order to keep me looking does strike a few chords: the dots when someone is typing a comment (it does keep me there a while longer to see what they're writing), the notifications that someone did something related to my feed to trigger that need to see what it is (I turned the notifications off long ago), the "people you might know" function designed to link me to as many as possible which keeps me looking longer, and the god-awful infinite scroll that keeps me looking at posts I've already seen; I do that way too much, and I hate that I do it.

Having been spending so much time at home - partly because of the pandemic and partly because of a new baby - I find myself with my phone in my hand more than usual. I find myself falling prey to the habits I've long railed against. To that end, I have decided to try to purge myself of these behaviors. Part of me would love to take social media off my phone entirely, but I post many pictures from my phone, and I will admit it's much easier to post that way instead of emailing them to myself to post from the laptop. That said, I have taken the step of limiting myself to ten minutes per day on Facebook and Twitter on my phone. The plan is to see what folks are up to in the morning & post what I have to post and to check once more in the evening to see what folks are up to and to get that quick high from the likes and comments on what I posted.

I like Facebook. It keeps me in touch with family and friends from all over the world. I enjoy seeing what they're up to. I appreciate being able to celebrate with them, even if it's via a post. This is especially true during the pandemic when I am unable to see people in person. I like Twitter. I don't follow too many accounts; the majority are work-, book-, or grammar-related who don't tweet too much. I don't want to give them up, but I don't want them to have as much control over my time as they've been having. To that end, I have subscribed to the Boston Globe, so I can get my news from professionals instead of the echo chamber that is my social media feed. I should have plenty of time to read it as I won't be on social media as much anymore. 

I have long encouraged my students to spend more time in the real world and less time on their phones. It's time I practiced what I preach.

January 22, 2021 - Survivor's Guilt

 

Last week we had to say goodbye to Winnie. This is not the first cat I've lost, but it's the first time I've been present for it. I said goodbye to Daisy, the cat I grew up with (she was 18 years old), but I was at college when it happened; I got a phone call from my mother after the fact. I said goodbye to Norm, the cat we fostered my senior year at college, but we returned him to the shelter, and I hold onto hope that he found his forever home and had a long and healthy life. I said goodbye to Squiggy (he was 14 years old), but I had re-homed him with a friend from work; I got to see him before he left, but I wasn't there when it happened. Being present to say goodbye to Winnie was, unsurprisingly, devastating. 

I have no doubt we made the right decision for her. While she had overcome numerous health problems throughout her nineteen years, we could not in good conscience watch her suffer as her health visibly deteriorated. She was having litter box issues. She began falling off the bed and not landing on her feet. She had increasing difficulty walking. I say all this not to convince anyone, myself included, that what we did was for the best. I say this because even though I know it was for the best, it still sucks. 

When we took her to the vet to say our goodbyes, it was one of the most emotionally trying times of my life. Being in that room with her as it happened is something I could not be prepared for. The vet told us what would happen every step of the way, that she would be gone before the syringe was fully pressed. And it was true. She was gone. After it was done, there was a body on the table, but it was no longer Winnie. It looked like her, but it wasn't. At least not as far as I was concerned. I still can't process how she was there one moment and was gone the next. 

Knowing we did right by her - and this sounds selfish; this is selfish - doesn't lessen the hurt that has continued. Every night, I used to say, "I'm going to feed the kids." Now I say, "I'm going to feed Logan." It hurts. Every night when I clean the litter boxes, I clean half as many. It hurts. When we come home, I say, "Logan, we're home!" instead of "Kids, we're home!" It hurts. When Logan jumps on the bed at night, I instinctively move to keep him away from another cat who's not there. It hurts. When I look at Logan, I am now forced to consider how much time we have left with him. It hurts. When I walk by the bedroom and glance in, God forbid there's a black tee shirt on the bed, because I come this close to saying, "Hey, pretty girl!" And it hurts. 

What hurts most at the moment, though, is the fact that the hurt will abate over time. Knowing this makes me feel conflicted. I know that grief passes over time, but I feel that the lessening of grief equals a lessening of the love I feel for her still. I feel that as time goes on, I will remember her less as that time inserts itself between us. I can't (and don't want to) forget her, but remembering is still painful. I know that someday the memories will no longer be intertwined with the pain. I know others have gone through this, and they will rightly say something along the lines of time heals all wounds. And I know that they're one hundred percent correct. But it doesn't help me now. 

So for the time being I will dwell in this self-pity and push myself to remember while fighting through the pain. I will remember with fondness the following times:
*visiting her and Jessy in Waltham and leaning over her to say hello. And she bit my nose

*when we wouldn't know where she was (in the closet, under the bed, in the other room...), all we had to do was whistle, and she'd come running - or stealing her from Jessy's lap by whistling and bringing her to my lap

*watching her curl up with her mother every night

*hearing her growl at her brother who also wanted to curl up with their mother every night

*knowing she had a chance to meet her human brother

*coming back from the vet, and giving her a treat for being so good and giving her brother a treat, too, because we can't give one cat a treat and not the other. And seeing her turn and smack him across the face so hard that he spat out the treat, and watching her walk over and eat it

*being bewildered by her lack of object permanence, as she would growl at Logan until I covered her eyes; I'd uncover them, and she'd resume growling until I covered them again

*hearing her meow hello from the bedroom window as we came up the walk to the front door

*after years of Logan trying to eat her food, her turning the tables and eating his, to the point of literally pushing him aside to do it

*giving her chin scratches, feeling her lean into them

*having her remind us who was in charge as she insisted I hold her dish while she ate

*having her lie on my lap, purring contentedly, as I read or graded or watched television

Normally my blog entries are intended to spark a conversation by putting forth an argument or trying to raise awareness about an issue. This one is simply a means of trying to unburden myself of something I can't define. That said, I will endure the pain in order to have my memories. And someday I will do it with only a smile instead of a smile and tears.